Wednesday, September 7, 2016

So here's something that's been brewing in my mind.  If we adopt again, once more... Our family will be complete.  Well, unless God has other plans.  But for now, we are thinking we might have one more adoption in us and the we are done. A family of four.  I really wanted to breast feed a child.  I didn't really know that until recently.  I've said often I wasn't sure what I'd do if I was given the choice.  But lately it's become more and more real to me and I want(ed) to breastfeed.  I've morned never being pregnant.  I'm excited that Tyler doesn't look like us and gets to grow up to just be Tyler.  I am ok with the fact I wasn't the first person to looks him.  Heck, I've even come to terms with the fact that I'm not even his first mom.  But it really sucks I never breastfed him.  I don't know why.  I don't know why it's become something that keeps me awake at night.  I don't even know what made me think of it to begin with.  Maybe it's just another step in moving on?  I'm not sure.  But that's what's keeping me awake at night folks. 

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